The effectiveness of love languages and dopamine for relationship

Research on prairie voles conducted at the University of Colorado in Boulder shows that dopamine is crucial for feeling and maintaining love in a relationship. The brain produces more of that pleasure-inducing hormone when we miss our partner or spend time with them. Dopamine also regulates the desire for sugar, nicotine and cocaine. However, when a relationship breaks up, the unique “chemical trace” in the brain disappears. Scientists also suggest that the brain has an innate mechanism that protects humans against endless unrequited love – over time, the brain resets itself, which allows it to continue working and create a new bond. This research may prove crucial for people who have difficulty establishing close relationships or are unable to come to terms with a loss – long-term grief syndrome.

According to the primary assumption of Baptist pastor Gary Chapman’s theory about the language of love, created 30 years ago, love means different things to different people. Therefore, understanding your partner’s primary love language is critical to a happy relationship. There are five love languages in all. According to scientists from, among others, the University of Toronto and based on a review of the scientific literature, the basic assumptions of Chapman’s theory are not proven well and are not supported by empirical evidence. People use more than five love languages and don’t have one primary love language that stays with them for life. Moreover, even partners sharing the same love language will not necessarily improve their relationship.